Trick-or-....nevermind.

So the other day at my internship I was surfing the web (I'm a social media intern, so it's a legitimate use of time. Don't judge) and I came across this gem. Read it and then tell me you didn't laugh and or nod your head in agreement.

I decided to compile my own list of worst halloween "treats" ever. I mean EVER.

Halloween has its own set of rights. You only get this much candy for free one day out of the year. Those are statistics not to be taken lightly.

I'm sure we can all relate to Fez here. And just ignore the obscenity at the very end.

I have fond memories of my trick or treating days. And my neighborhood knew what was up when it came to trick or treating. They didn't skimp on treat giving. For the mostpart. Here are the top 5 worst Halloween treats that unfortunately, I've fallen victim to.

5. Peanut Butter salt water Taffy

Could you think of a worse flavor for salt water taffy? Besides maybe grass clippings? What are we, contestants on fear factor? Gross. My family used to take trips to Myrtle Beach where there are salt water taffy stores on every corner. We know salt water taffy. This is a disgrace to the entire salt water taffy corporation. Not to mention they're tough enough to rip a tooth or several out.

4. Caramels with white nougat in the middle

I don't even know what these are called, that's how gross they are. Even Google is ashamed of them. I couldn't find a picture of the right thing until I searched "individual caramels with white crap in the middle". It's true, you can even check my browsing history if you want.

Dry stale caramels with even more dry chalky "nougat" in the middle? Thanks, but no thanks.

3. Apples

Now don't get me wrong. I love me a nice crunchy apple. But on Halloween? The one day where it's OK to eat enough candy until you puke? Like I'm going to waste my time on an APPLE.

To quote Strongbad,

"What are you? Some kind of a dentist? Some kind of a hippie? Some kind of hippie dentist?"

I couldn't have said it better myself Strongbad.

Not to mention it typically caused your parents to go into a whirlwind of nervousness. The next time you go on a bike ride you'll hear them screaming in the distance "Stay away from that one house! You know the one that gave out APPLES for Halloween?"

Because odds are they either poisoned them or slipped razors into them.

2. Pretzels

These bad boys fall into the same category as apples. Delicious any day of the year except Halloween. Not to mention we already have a barrel of them in the pantry and they're packed in my lunch every single day.

Last and certainly LEAST

1. Wax vampire teeth

Can anybody say Halloween's worst idea EVER? These aren't even edible. And as far as I'm concerned...they're just taking up valuable space in your pillowcase that could be filled by more desirable candy.

So there you have it. My worst top 5 Halloween treats.

What are yours?

who am I?

Growing up I always thought that my features were pretty average for a white American. Blue eyes, light skin and brown curly hair. I’m not entirely aware of my heritage. But I know that my relatives and ancestors came from Europe (whose didn’t?), my Grandpa grew up in Canada and I have a pinch of Native American.

I grew up in the same town for my entire life. More or less. We moved there when I was three. And it happened to be the same hometown that my dad was born in and grew up. We Flemings like to stick to what we know.

Rochester is a pretty diverse town for being in the middle of farm country. I went to high school with people who had a wide variety of ethnic background.

My race was never confused. I was always that white girl.

Until I moved to Idaho. Oh Idaho.

I remember my first semester at BYU-Idaho. I had moved into the dorms, the semester started up and took its natural course. Then all of a sudden it started happening. Multiple times. I don’t remember all of the exact details...but I was somewhere with someone. We were carrying on our conversation when there was a lull in the conversation. I noticed them looking at me and they had that look on their face. You know the one I’m talking about. They’re debating if they should say what they’re thinking. Weighing out the pros and cons, if it would be offensive or if they should just take their chances. What do you do in this situation? So I just waited....not sure what to expect.

“So...um....what...well....uh......what are you?”

What am I? What does that even mean? You mean besides human?

“Uh.....”

“You know, like, where are you from?”

“Uh......Minnesota.....??”

“No....I mean....like....you know.....are you black?”

“I'm sorry. Am I WHAT?”

Now, don’t get me wrong. I would love nothing more than to be able to claim some African American heritage. But have you SEEN MY SKIN? It’s white. Or my eyes? They're blue.

I brushed it off as, well I don’t even know what, I had no explanation. I was dumbfounded. Dumbfounded, I tell you.

I went to my apartment and retold the story to my roommates. All five of them.

“Guys! Get this. So I was on campus today talking to this person and all of a sudden they ask me if......”

As I finished the story I waited for their agreement of the absurdity of this question. Nothing but dead silence.

They looked at me, looked at each other.

“I could see it.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“Sure. I mean you have big lips and puffy hair.”

Thanks?

I wrote it all off as ignorance. Clearly these people didn’t know what they were talking about.

So the semester went on. Semester after semester.

And I got asked this question AT LEAST once a semester. I finally decided that moving to Idaho must do some magic trick on your brain that causes you to not think rationally, because I was getting it from people from all over.

So I just got used to it. And when people started looking at me all confused with their furrowed eyebrows and half opened mouths I’ve just learned to say...

“I’m white.”

So after so many semesters I took a few off and went to serve a full time mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Virginia.

It was one of my last weeks in the mission and I was serving in Norfolk. My companion and I were trying to find a street. So we stopped and talked to a man (who happened to be African American. You’ll see why this detail is important later) to try and get directions. He told us how to get there, we did our best to share the gospel with him and gave him a card for mormon.org

Then some chit chat started.

“Where are ya’ll from?”

“Utah.”
“Minnesota.”

“Oh. Alright. Alright. Well I know that you (pointing at my companion) you’re originally from Ireland. Because you have red hair.”

Which was only reddish. It was mostly brown. And I’m pretty sure it came from a box anyway.

“Oh yeah, um...yeah, I think I do have some ancestors form Ireland.”

Then it was my turn. (can you tell where this was going?)

“And you, I don’t even gotta ask you ‘cause I know you got some black in you.”

“Oh, no sir, I don’t. I’m just white.....”

“No. No, no, no, no, no. You got it in you...just embrace it!”

“Really, I wish I was but I....”

“No. Look at your eyes. And your nose. And that flower in your hair, that’s straight Billie Holiday!”

“All my relatives are white....I think I have some European ancestors too, you know like Ireland.”

“Well if that’s the case then there was some sneaking and creeping going on. Because you got it in you, I know you do.”

And there you go. A bona fide African American told me that I too am one.

After all, it takes one to know one. Or so I’ve been told.

time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping...

Time 100% astounds me. Isn't it quite the phenomenon? I mean time is always changing. Even right now as I write this. I'm still writing it, still doing the same thing, yet time is still passing around me. Or even just thinking about what I was doing this morning, a few hours ago, even just a few seconds ago as I was typing earlier words to this post. I don't know if that made any sense at all to you, but it makes perfect sense in my head.

And don't even get me started on time travel, which I totally wish existed, because there are some pretty sweet moments in history that I'd like to go live. Or some times in my life that I wish could go back to, like that time when I got totally owned and didn't have a response. Well if time travel was real I could go back and give an awesome come back line and the recipient wouldn't even know what to do it was that cool.

Someone I know actually thinks that when you time travel you can't go back to a time before you were born. Which totally defeats the purpose of time travel if you ask me. Because it's real and all.

The one thing I do know about time travel is that JK Rowling is a time travel boss and I'm pretty sure she's the time travel guru.

So I've been thinking lately about time....and how I spend it and how I don't spend it.

This is usually how my day goes. I make a mental list of all the things I need to get done. Go to class, study, go to my internship, grocery shop, go to the gym, make a new playlist/routine for my cycling class, homework, etc.

Then when I get to the end of the day I realized that I've done oh, maybe, four of them. On a good day. So how on earth did I not do the rest? I mean that's not even that demanding of a list, considering I only have three classes this semester and I go to my internship three hours a day.

And then I remember.

Pinterest. Hulu. Amazon.com. and everything like such as.

These things totally suck the life out of me and before I know if I've done nothing but pin 80 new recipes to my food board on pinterest. Or watched the latest episode of Modern Family on Hulu. Or longed for new cupcake cookbooks on Amazon.com . Because I need a new cupcake cookbook like I need a hole in my head.

If I were diligent I would make rules for myself. Like I can only go on pinterest for 30 minutes AFTER I've gone for at least a three mile run. Or I can watch Modern Family after I've done all of my homework. And there is really no justification for looking at more cupcake books on Amazon.com because I like my head the way it is. You know, without holes.