Saturday, July 14, 2012

my admittedly naive perception of parenthood.

Sometimes I wonder what life will bring me as a mother.  I'm nowhere near that phase of life, but I find myself thinking about it often.  Obviously I don't know my future kids yet, since you know, I haven't had them yet and I probably need to meet another significant person first.  

If all would go according to my selfish plans, I would like to get married and work for the first few years of marriage to help save for the day when we do decide to start our family.  I don't know what phase of life my husband will be in when that time comes.  If he'll be in school or if he's already working full time.  I know motherhood/parenthood is important, but I want to be prepared for it, including financially.  Working for a few years will give me and whoever is at my side the opportunity to save so we can adequately provide for our future family.  But you hear over and over how people weren't planing on starting their family when she/their wife got pregnant and somehow they made it work, so I probably shouldn't worry that much, but me not worrying is like asking the sun not to shine.  Simply impossible.  

Motherhood is a responsibility that requires work.  Hard work that lasts past office hours (fatherhood too).  I admire women that stay at home with their kids all day long.  It is very selfless of them.  The same for men.  Lots of men are stay at home dads for one reason or another.

What about the woman who goes into the office?  Does she somehow fulfill her role of motherhood less?  I know I'm not a mom or a wife, so my opinion might seem skewed and naive, but I can still plan for the future.  I look forward to the day when I can stay home with my children and create a home while my husband works alongside me contributing to the environment of our home while working in the office and providing in a different way for our family. 

However, I'd rather err on the side of caution.  What if he can't get a job?  What if, heaven forbid, something happens and he is unable to work?  Or what if we have bills that we did not prepare for and his financial earnings are not enough?  

Am I making any sense?  

I guess what I'm trying to say is that some mothers work in the home and some work out of the home and they are both working for the love of their family.  Any mom is a full time working woman.  Men and women are equal in parenting.  For the most part their roles are different but perhaps at times they will have to help with the other's traditional role.  But at the end of the day they are equal.  Fighting for the same purpose, to protect and provide for their family.  


  1. Sounds like you're not so naive as you think. I think you've got a good handle on it.

    When you talk about erring on the side of caution, I think that's spot on. Everyone should get a degree, it makes you smart and in turn makes your kids smarter.

  2. Jacob-thanks. I sure hope so. Only time will tell!

    Moms-thanks too. I guess I can take it from two who would know, being parents themselves and all.


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