Saturday, July 28, 2012


pre script.
I try really hard to stay away from negative rants and complaining on my blog (which isn't the intention of this post, but I could see how it might be seen that way), and I REALLY don't mean to start a pity party or a "woe is me" but here it goes.

A lot of us, nay, all of us, know all too well the frustrations of dating and being single (as in not married, not necessarily not dating, but not dating can also be included).  These frustrations can come at any stage in life, right?

So, I really wish that when the topic comes up among friends and I try to give my two cents that every conversation wouldn't go like this.

How old are you?


(almost always cue eye roll)

Just give it a few more years.  Till you're my age.

Why does it matter what age we are or aren't?  We're both on the same path.  Looking for that eternal someone and we both still haven't found them.  What does age have to do with it at all?  I'd put a pretty penny down that we won't even be defined by age in the eternities

I don't think age matters or that being older gives you more right to complain because we still both yearn for our eternal family to start.  What is a few more years going to do?  Give me more time to play and avoid responsibility?  Isn't that what our church leaders have counseled us not to do?  Not that we can't enjoy life.  We can have fun and take advantage of the time we have when we're single but our quest and our focus should be finding an honorable eternal companion during all of that free time and fun having.  Not sitting around until we reach a certain age and becoming frustrated and then doing something about it.

Sure, a lot of my current associates may have a good 3-5+ years on me, and I'm sure with each passing year it does get harder.  But someone being a few years older than me and single doesn't take away my insecurities when it comes to dating.  No matter how much younger I am, this is the stage that I am at and I'm trying to do what I can.  Just like you, just like everyone.

I have in mind what I'd like for a future husband and I try my best to have the qualities that one might like in a future wife all while trying to progress (and not always succeeding) on my own--working full time, developing new skills, maybe continuing my education--and I do those things to prepare for the future when that time does come to take a step closer to eternity.

Although it can get discouraging, it is still important that we don't let our situations get us down.  We need to focus on what we have and not what we don't have.  Sure, I look forward to marriage as much as the next person.  I think it's going to be great and that it will bring more opportunities to learn and grow in a unique setting.  But since I'm not there yet, I need to enjoy life now and all the benefits that my current stage brings, which mindset I hope to always have.  To be happy where I am, but not complacent.  To be content but always striving for more while not letting frustrations or disappointments in attempts hinder my progression to the next phase, and once we get to that next phase to keep progressing.
There is always room for growth and improvement.

That's all.


  1. I know you, I believe. I know you're not one of those women who sits around with her gal pals of increasing maturity and wait for someone in the singles ward or walking down the street to fall to your feet swooning begging for your number.
    Those types should be kicked a little bit. You're amazing. I can't wait to meet the guy who has the cajones to be worthy of your time.
    Maybe it's because we're under 30 and are now fully enveloped in the 'adult world', but I have similar complaints. At my job, with coworkers and friends who are much older. According to a good bit of folks my first marriage failed because of my age. We were too young. It had nothing to do with all the reasons I've shared with you and my other close friends, apparently.
    And someday I assume it will be reversed. We'll be too old for the things we want. Like I said, I know you, though. You and me? We'll be doing those things anyway!

  2. Esther, you're too kind. Seriously. Thanks a heap. And I'm loving that you just used the word "cajones". I'm sorry your coworkers said mean stuff like that! Cheers to growing old and doing whatever we want!


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